As an unpublished author I’ve noticed a very distinct pattern of reoccurring events.
First, I get all excited about an idea. Then, I spend countless hours burning up the keyboard trying to get it all down before the inspiration evaporates. This part of the process usually involves waking in the middle of the night and reaching for a pen, or worse, the inability to actually fall asleep because the words just won’t stop. Not to mention the inability to accomplish anything because I have to keep running back to the computer. Consequently, I am late for almost everything.
Second, the editing, revising, rethinking, editing, revising, rethinking, editing . . . I think you can see where I’m going with number two.
Third, the all important thumbs-up from a friend, family member, or my personal favorite, the unsuspecting employee who can’t possibly refuse and/or say anything negative.
Fourth is the submission to a publisher, agent or contest.
And then comes what Dr Seuss calls, “a most useless place: The Waiting Place.”
Waiting for a yes or no, or for the phone to ring,
or for the mailman to show, or the email to ding
waiting while my heart dashes
waiting while each day passes
waiting for the time to come when someone says,
“Good work, you’ve won!”
I’m just waiting, worrying that my submission has gone missing, lost in a stack while the editor went fishing
or worn as a hat, or fallen to the floor,
or kicked under the door and into a grate
or smoked in a pipe, or used as a plate
or eaten by a pet, or sitting in a queue
or even swallowed by the internet?
I’m just waiting.
The worst part about waiting is that my hopes grow and then somehow diminish at the same time. By the time I finally hear back from the receiving party my nerves are such an anxious jumble of repressed emotion that I don’t know whether I should plan a celebration or pull my hair out. Sigh. The process is exhausting. Every time I get a no I say that I am going to stop writing but then a well-meaning friend (usually another writer) will always talk me down, saying that I can’t give up. Why? Because they truly believe I’m good. Or, maybe it’s as simple as misery loving company.
Either way, I think Tom Petty said it best when he wrote: The Waiting is the Hardest Part.
DON’T GIVE UP!! You have talent and desire. KEEP WRITING. You WILL get published, maybe just not with your current WIP’s. Instead of going back to them and trying to make them better, why not turn them upside down? Introduce new characters, change POV’s, take some crazy chances….
Just a thought. And when you DO get published, I hope it is with WiDo!
Yes, I was thinking the very same thing. Recently I started a new manuscript and have decided that I would simply have fun with it like I do with my blog posts — see what happens. Believe it or not, my first book, The Woman He Married, was originally titled, The Curse of the Minivan. But editors, contest judges and publishers said that I couldn’t mix the seriousness of my story with irony. I disagreed, but made the changes thinking if I gave them what they wanted maybe someday I would get published and then with time be able to write on my own terms. Needless to say, your rejection, although crushing, really hit home. Thank you.
Hey Julie!!! Thank you so much for the gift! Brad and I have been away on vacation for the last week and just picked up our mail last night from a neighbor. I was so excited to see I actually got something GOOD in the mail, and. . . our first baby gift! I am so glad you have a blog now. I already added yours to my bloglist. For so long I was the sole blogger of the family. No more!
I’m so glad you got the gift. I sent it USPS instead of UPS so I had no way of knowing whether or not you got it. Yes, I started blogging a month or so ago. I wanted to do book reviews but then I thought it might be fun to also write about how frustrating it is to get published. It was fun to look at your blog. I’m going to take a closer look tomorrow morning before I open the store when it’s quiet.
When I first came to Nashville to pursue my Music Dreams, I told people that I would either end up on CMT or America’s Most Wanted attempting to get on CMT. It sounds like the trials in your life have made you realize the value of a moment. I think that it is fantastic that you are following your dream with such passion. Sometimes during the pursuit of our dreams, it feels like we are on the verge of everything and nothing at all at the same time. I think it is during that moment, we realize we will still be happy regardless of which direction the scale tips.
I thought your manuscript was great……all the way up to Dr. McBride!
Your “Blog Man” did a great job!
Keep up the good work! Dreams do come true!
Aaron
Aaron,
You are so right about feeling as though I’m on the verge of everything and nothing at the same time. I totally feel that way all the time. Now I am wondering what happens when I the day comes that I’m neither? When I become just another person with an unrealized dream? Somehow I think I’ll probably be relieved. And I know that as long as I have my family and friends I’ll be all right. Different, but okay. I’m glad you didn’t end up on America’s Most Wanted. Sometimes I think everyone is going to get so tired of me and my obsession that I will end up alone with my fish and only my book characters for company.
As far as Dr McBride. You know, if I remember correctly, the day I was writing that section there was an envelope from Tonya sitting on my desk, and that’s where I got the name. At the time, I never envisioned that anyone, much less you, would read it. Although Gavin was a jerk, he was handsome, right?
Thanks for you comments!
Julie
I like this : contest judges and publishers said that I couldn’t mix the seriousness of my story with irony.
That is editor speak for: no clear voice
Work on your voice and you’ll have it. Best way to work on voice imho is to read more and write more. Write for your readers, not for some faceless nameless editor, and your voice will emerge.
Here I was thinking that I had somehow lost my voice during the editing/revising process. But if I’m hearing you right, it sounds as if I probably never had a strong fiction voice to begin with.
A moment of silence please to mourn the passing of what little confidence I had left in my fiction writing ability.
You see, I don’t believe that voice is something that can be learned, nurtured maybe, but not acquired. If it were, your acquisitions department wouldn’t be covered up in manuscripts that will never grace the shelves of B&N. The voice that comes through in my blogs was not cultivated—it’s just me: rough and completely uncensored. With the grey streaking freely through my hair, a business to run, and two girls to raise, I have neither the time, nor the inclination, to fret over an ability that, for the most part, should come naturally.
I love to read and I love to write so I am going to continue on this quest to find my fiction voice. But if sooner or later I’m forced to accept that I will never be a fiction writer, I’ll have to square with it if/when that day comes.
Again, thank you for your encouragement!
Hey Julie! What happened to your excerpt? I came to your blog today to make a comment on the excerpt you posted a few days ago and it looks like you took it off.
Oh well, here’s my comment anyway….I liked this. It seems real and alive, and I wanted to read more. I could get a glimpse of the Southernness of it as well, which I couldn’t in your earlier submission. I think you are on the right track.
Ms. Princevalle,
Hey, thanks for reading and for your comment. I took the post down because I thought it was too long — I was going to shorten it and then re-post but life got in the way. (sigh) Hopefully, the post will be back up tomorrow. The excerpt, however, is still there and I added to it in order to complete the scene. I don’t know if you saw the whole thing???
I wrote in first-person this time hoping to draw out more of my voice. I think it’s better, and I’m enjoying writing this way even more, which is always a plus. Not to be presumptuous, but I like the next scene I just finished even better.
Once again, I appreciate your support. Maybe someday I’ll be grateful that you turned me down.
Julie